I want to help my children to learn. Am I wrong in wanting to do that? Am I wrong in wanting them to read and write. Am I wrong in presenting alphabet in different forms, holding wooden blocks and rolling them to blend letters, or building playdough letters for the sensory feel or putting letters in the pond and fishing them out with magnetic rods. Perhaps I could bake some letters in the oven, then we could eat them. LOL! My goodness, Autism Spectrum means it is harder for them to learn. Maybe I am expecting too much. My husband says “They will do it when they want to!” I guess I am feeling the comparisons with other kids. “You can do this!” I say. “I believe in you!”, I say. Does it even matter what I say? Do my kids just think that Mum is just saying Blablablabla! I know the 9 year old listens to me. He gets frustrated with me. He thinks that I don’t understand him. He thinks I am asking him to do the impossible! “Writing is something I am not good at Mum!”. “Practice love. You must make time to practice everyday. My love.”
Right now he is fixated on earning enough money to buy an X-box. “How are we going to do that Mum?” Can’t you just buy one Mum?” “No”,. I say. “I can’t eat a plastic X-box, can I”, “We need to spend money on food!” “If you want an X-box you will have to earn some money by doing jobs around the house, or wash a car or two or mow lawns/walk dogs etc!” “You could do some writing? Or do a show. Do a painting/Drawing.” We sold the last X-box because there were behavoiour difficulties around it. Why on earth would we want another one. Am I crazy? Do I love groundhog days? I am thinking that if he goes through this process of learning how hard it is to earn money he might actually appreciate the process of having it and using it. He may grow through it!”
Am I kidding myself!
Written and Authorised by Jane Muras, 4 Henry st, Hectorville, SA 5073 Candidate for Hectorville Ward CCC 2018