#Meltdownterritory: I should have known better

Its 2015, it’s a newish diagnosis and we are struggling to cope with the demands  made by my little 8 year old Autist,  who has some sensory processing issues and needs to feel ok. I am trying to  live life without him having medication being part of the plan and I have ceased going to see certain therapists because they have dared to suggest it. My Darling Zak just stood in front of the mantlepiece,  so upset with me, I am the brunt and cause of all his problems according to him.

I had requested that we wash his clothes. He swore and cursed  at me. He did not want to take his clothes off. He does not like the feeling of taking his clothes off or putting them on.  This was all because I had forgotten to wash his clothes the night before. In his mind the routine had been disturbed, one did not wash clothes and gloves during the day – it was my job, like this one task is the sole purpose of my existence! To wash his clothes at night when he did not have to wear them. He wears his clothes like a bandaid. His armour against the world. He has to wear exactly the same clothees everyday to “feel right”. This becomes a problem when he grows and it’s kind of like thee fairytale of old,  “Jack in the Beanstalk”. The child loves the clothes so much it does not matter if they are too small for him, or ripped or torn or worn out at the elbow or knee. He must wear it. I have thought of repurposing his clothes with my sew machine but not actually got to that yet.

What is this? I know he doesn’t like it but I have to wash his clothes so he is presentable at school and does not look like no-one owns him. He stood there screaming his head off at me, wailing for one hour. I donned the industrial strength ear muffs his very practical grandfather had bought me for my birthday,  sold at Bunning (and thankfully they do!) Zak begged me not to put them on my own head.  I think he may have been looking at me and did not want the memory of the image of me to change in that moment. His way out of it is to verbally stim, (maybe by vocalizing it helps him come to terms with a situation which is not how he wants it. Boy he is loud. Does that make any sense at all? (Post in progress)

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