The gloves, play the piano/move your fingers

Bandaids and gloves had to cover his hands. He had scraped  his hands at school. This was too much for a highly sensitised 7 year old. Recently returned from Humid and wet, Darwin.

Flying back to Adelaide Dry weather. A scrape on the hands, he had somehow decided that he would cover his hands with bandaids. Lots of bandaids. Many packets costing a small fortune. The school spoke to me several times about the use and amount of bandaids. Could he please bring his own supply as they needed to keep a supply for other students as well. The bandaids were wretched after some days.  He would not want me to change them. One day I  found that the sticking plaster was caused a rash on his skin. A skin irritation.

This was not helping at all. In a problem solving effort I thought I had come up with a brainwave. I would substitute the bandaids with gloves. It was a comedy of errors. This seemed like a good idea but  turned out to be another hole to fall into.

He loved wearing the gloves. He wore them non-stop for 3 months. I could not buy just any old glove with a mixed fabric material. The material had to be cotton. It had to breathe.  His hands got sweaty from wearing the poly fabric gloves and he did not have the will to explain this to me.

I finally got his gloves off of him to find  his skin peeling . I was not going to sit by and let this phobia he had hurt him so I changed gloves. I realized the material used to make the gloves was making his hands sweaty. It was impossible to  find cotton gloves anywhere. In an effort to dry wet gloves we used a blow dryer, (I’m starting to dig another hole unbeknownst to me! OCD routines were rearing up it’s head).  The hair dryer  had a warming effect on the glove also.  It seems that he also thought he had horrible hands possibly because they felt extra sensitive. An extra teacher was called in at the time to help him understand how he was feeling. Constant wear of gloves poses a few problems when it comes to washing the darned things.

I didn’t understand what was happenning only that I wanted him to be comfortable. Then it seemed to occur that because it had grown cold during the winter months that the gloves had to be warm when he put them on. They were dried in a certain section of the house before he put them on to go to school. (Another localised routine). This went on for quite some time  or there would be loud protestations from Junior. Well, requests to dry the socks started happenning at school! The hair dryer – oh the hair dryer! I just determined I would not put up with it any more and I told him that I was not going to do it any more. He screamed and shouted at me. I feel defeated.  I decided not to assist the set routine.

I did not want him to stop using his hands so we started on the path of challenging him to work his hands and fingers on the piano. Hopefully music will do the trick. Now years later he plays some beautiful pieces on the piano. Thank goodness something has paid off! Piano

 

 

 

 

Autism Power of Laughing and a loving family life.

We laugh together as a family. The thing I treasure about my family. We all laugh. Laughter is the best medicine to heal all wounds.  Anxiety shows up when things are different. I just want to be Mum.  I love being Mum. All my life I wanted to be Mum and I am. What a journey of highs and lows. I love every minute of it. I want to treasure it and sometimes things are so tough you want to run the other way! But I gotta love that too.

It’s winter and absolutely freezing outside right now! I want to create a big marshmallow home. I bought a bag of marshmallows last night for all of us to roast in the pot belly fire. The home of my children. With my husband and pets. I want the grandparents and friends to come over on a weekly Sunday morning breakfast (hubby putting up with in-laws). I have this. Immediate family and extended on the weekly catchup brekky.

Most of all I want to create a place where my boys can thrive. I accept you as you are. Where it is ok to be how you are and who you are. Who you are may be different from everybody else and you know what. That’s ok! Whatever differences you have, well I just love it. I can’t do anything else, I just can’t.

The worlds a tough place and home needs to be a spongey trampoline that we can bounce around on and have fun. Because we do. We have fun at home.  I don’t understand why you don’t want to get out the door to go out. What is it!  I do understand that home is the same.

I encourage my son to exercise. “Mum, it’s so beneficial to play the X-box because you can get this great exercising of your thumbs, it helps with my core functioning!”.

There has been having lots of discussions with his class teachers about how much he wants an x-box, and what an asset an x-box would be at his school. As far as my son is concerned the school needs an x box. You know what! The kid is going to do great at debating because when he gets going you can’t shut him up.

 

 

Navigating social interaction and holidays

When my dear son was very young, maybe 5 years old he went bouncing on the jumping pillow at a Caravan Park,  on a holiday. He wanted to bounce all the time I remember him wanting to watch prerecorded Bear Grylls videos over and over again as if they were instructional video’s on skills needed to face the day.

I remember him playing on the jumping pillow at the caravan park holiday and he found some boys to hang around with, (who my son naively  thought were “his (said) friends”) even though they clearly found him an annoying tag along and made fun of him. This made me angry. My son did not recognize  the unkindness in these boys,  he wanted me to go away. I cautioned my son, wanting to protect him but also realizing that he has to find his own way in navigating this social interaction.  These were mean to him.  They made fun of him and took advantage of my son’s naivety and he couldn’t understand that they weren’t being kind and playful. HE could not understand that they were not looking after him. Navigating social interaction and holidays